Keeping the Romance Alive: 10 Ways to Rekindle Love Over Time

Have you ever looked at an elderly couple holding hands and thought, Wow, I want that kind of love? The kind of love that lasts through decades, laughter, tears, and even the days when you just don’t feel like being romantic?

Maybe you're in a season where the excitement of your relationship has faded a little. Life gets busy, with work, kids, ministry, and responsibilities, and it’s easy to forget to pursue the one we love. But here’s the good news: romance isn’t something that just happens; it’s something we cultivate.

So, let’s talk! How can we keep the spark alive in a God-honoring way? Grab your drink, get cozy, and let’s dive in.

1. Prioritize Each Other – Even in the Chaos

Be honest, when was the last time you had a REAL, uninterrupted conversation with your spouse or significant other? No phones, no kids screaming, no work emails, just the two of you?

God designed marriage to be a sacred bond, second only to our relationship with Him. Genesis 2:24 reminds us, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”

Let’s reflect:

• How often do you set aside intentional time for just the two of you?

• What are some creative ways to reconnect even on busy days?

Try this: Schedule a mini “check-in” daily, even if it’s just 10 minutes before bed to talk, laugh, or pray together.

2. Keep Pursuing Each Other (Like You Did When You Were Dating!)

Think back to the beginning of your relationship. You sent sweet texts, planned special dates, and went out of your way to impress them. Why stop now?

We often think, "Well, they know I love them!" But love needs action. Romans 12:10 says, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

Let’s chat:

• What’s one thing your partner did in the early days that made you feel special?

• What’s one thing YOU can do today to surprise them?

Try this: Leave a handwritten note, send a flirty text, or plan a date night, even if it's just a living room picnic!

3. Communicate with Love and Intention

Ever had one of those arguments that started over something silly, like where to eat, and suddenly turned into a full-blown debate about EVERYTHING wrong in the relationship? 🙋🏽‍♂️🙋🏽‍♀️ Yeah, me too.

Proverbs 18:21 reminds us, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” The way we communicate can either build love or tear it down.

Let's be real:

• Do you listen more than you speak in your relationship?

• What’s one way you can be more intentional in your conversations?

Try this: Next time your partner is talking, don’t think about your response, just listen and validate their feelings.

4. Keep Physical Intimacy a Priority

Yes, we’re going there! Marriage is a covenant, and intimacy is a GIFT from God. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 reminds us not to neglect each other physically.

But intimacy isn’t just about physical touch, it’s emotional connection too. Holding hands, cuddling, or just looking into each other’s eyes can rekindle romance.

Let’s talk:

• What’s your spouse’s favorite way to receive affection? (Hugs, words, time together?)

• How can you show them love in a way that speaks to their heart?

Try this: Hold hands while watching TV or give a 10-second hug, it releases feel-good hormones!

5. Pray Together – Keep God at the Center

When was the last time you prayed with your spouse? Not just for them, but with them?

Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” The strongest marriages have Christ at the center.

Honest moment:

• What’s holding you back from praying together more?

• How has prayer strengthened your relationship?

Try this: Hold hands and say a short prayer together before bed tonight. Start small!

6. Laugh and Have Fun Together

When was the last time you laughed so hard your stomach hurt? If you can’t remember, it’s time to change that!

Laughter is a powerful way to connect. Proverbs 17:22 says, “A cheerful heart is a good medicine.”

Question:

• What’s one funny memory from your relationship that always makes you laugh?

Try this: Watch a comedy together or do something silly, like a TikTok challenge (why not?!).

7. Extend Grace and Forgiveness

Let’s be honest, sometimes, our spouse gets on our nerves. (And let’s not pretend we’re perfect either!)

Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Real talk:

• Is there something small (or big) you need to forgive your spouse for?

• How does holding onto resentment affect your relationship?

Try this: If there’s tension, be the first to extend grace. Say, “I love you, and I want us to move forward.”

8. Keep Learning About Each Other

People change. The person you married five years ago isn’t the same today, and neither are you!

Take time to keep discovering each other’s dreams, struggles, and desires.

Fun Question:

• If your spouse could take any dream trip, where would it be?

• What’s something NEW you’ve learned about them recently?

Try this: Ask a deep question tonight, like, “What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but never told me?”

9. Serve Each Other with Love

Jesus showed that true love is about serving, not just receiving. Mark 10:45 says, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve.”

Challenge:

• What’s one way you can serve your spouse today?

Try this: Do something small, take over a task they dislike, or give them a break from a daily chore.

10. Commit to Growing Together

The best relationships don’t just happen, they’re built with intention.

Make the decision to fight for love, cherish the moments, and keep pursuing each other, no matter how many years pass.

Final reflection:

• What’s one thing from this list you want to start TODAY?

Challenge: Share this post with your spouse and pick one thing to do together this week!

Which of these tips spoke to you the most? Do you have a love story or tip to share? Drop a comment below, I’d love to hear from you!